Stories on Depression: Talking is hard enough, being judged makes it harder
Depression can be a face of someone who is smiling, telling jokes and happy, which I am quite often. I have a family, a job and I am alive so why would I be depressed?
It’s hard to talk to people when you don’t know what reaction you will get. In the past, I’ve found out that people were talking behind my back, saying I am “needy” or “always on about myself”. But maybe I seemed like that because I needed a friend to lean on.
When you have been that person who is always there for others, and then that role changes because you need a shoulder, people can be so quick to judge.
So for myself, it’s either I wear this mask and keep smiling, pushing everything back…or I break down. There seems to be no in-between as I find it hard to talk. Not knowing HOW to talk about my feelings has impacted my own personal life because instead I react with “fight or flight”. I either want to scream and shout about how hard I am finding it, or I just want to run and hide which is unfair to the people I love.
Even doing the simple tasks of talking, doing something around the house or picking what I want to do can sometimes feel like my head is going to explode, because I cannot process what is going on. So this is when my “fight or flight” kicks in.
Thankfully this is not all the time and greatly depends on how I am feeling that day, as I have my good days and bad days. Some days I am as happy as can be like nothing is wrong, but this can change so quickly.
For myself I need to open up, let people in and learn to talk but I also believe we need to live in a world where the judgment is left out, depression is acknowledged and we can openly talk.
Mental health problems affect 1 in 4 people every year and no one should feel ashamed. By sharing our experiences, together we can end the stigma. Every Friday, we share and talk about depression among young people! Share your story with us via firstname.lastname@example.org